Gone but not for long.

My grandmother passed away on sunday afternoon. My grandma was one of those lady's that you'd like to be when you are 83 years old, she didn't take crap from nobody, very loving, aware of how she looked, loved to eat sweets, super sarcastic and encouraging. She has been battling Macular Degeneration for years now and she had such bad spinal stenosis that she was in so much pain. I hated seeing her in pain and hearing her talk about the things she couldn't do anymore. She has been through just about everything, lost two sons, survived an abusive marriage, wars, poverty, and so much more.

She truly is an inspiration to me and I will miss her forever. We wanted her to wait to see her great grandchildren but she was ready to go on the next level and go back home. She was however here to see me graduate from school, something she has been waiting for, and she was able to meet the little girl my sister and brother in law are going to adopt. She's amazing and one amazing thing I will be able to do for her in a year is her temple work. I have talked to her many times about the church and she was completely agaianst the church but now that she is able to see things a little clearer maybe she will be more willing to learn more. I'll just do the work just in case and she can decide for herself whether she wants to accept the gospel or not. I hope she will accept and I will be able to spend eternity with my loving grandmother. I love you and miss you always!!! See you soon!!!!

A New Year.

Well Christmas was great yesterday! Didn't really feel the christmas spirit this year but had a great time, next year I need to try harder. My in-laws were in town so we were able to have them over christmas morning along with my two brothers in law. Christmas eve we went to my In-laws hotel room to have dinner and open some gifts since my sister in law had to work on Christmas. We also read the christmas story in Luke. There was a special spirit and it was great to spend that time with them. On thursday we had dinner and opened gifts with my family since we wouldn't see them for christmas. My parents got us a tent and sleeping bags, my grandmother got us an ice chest. My sister and brother in law got us some towels and the movie "Where the wild things are". Josh was so excited about the tent that he put it up in our living room the next day when I was at work. I would add the picture my husband sent me when I was at work but my computer is acting dumb.

Oh and also I never posted about my graduation on Dec. 17th. It was amazing!!!! I've worked so hard for the past two years and to have it finally done was such a wonderful feeling. Again I would post pics but my computer is dumb. We had a bagpipe group lead our processional by playing "pomp and circumstance" and it was so cool. Every student was able to have someone with them come onto the stage and put on their pin. Then at the end we all lit our Florence Nightengale lamps and said the Nightengale Pledge. It was so cool. I loved seeing the look on my mon and grandmothers faces. They have been so worried about me graduating that to finally see me actually do it was awesome.

Well now that Christmas is over and school is over, what do I do? I have a huge list!
- PASS THE NCLEX THE FIRST TIME TAKING IT!!!!
- Gym everyday I'm not working- In laws bought our Hawaii tickets for our trip in May. Gotta get into shape!!
- Make a bed for the dog. Great Dane = huge bed!!!
- Angry Birds plushes for my Husband- see the blog Obsessively Stitching
- Make some scrubs
- Make a new skirt for myself.
- Sew reuseable sandwich and snack bags.
- Curtains for my bedroom
- Pillows for the living room
- Paint the house.
- fitted tablecloth and double sided tablecloth
- Start the BSN program in May.

Sounds like the beginnings of a great year!!!!

I'm done......

So I took my last final of nursing school today. For the past two years I have been beating myself up, abandoning my husband, ignoring my family, spending way too much money on gas driving to and from school and clinicals, abandoning my "wifely duties", not reading the books that I want to read, missing family get togethers, not being able to do the crafts that I want to do, Not being able to blog, not being able to dedicate the time I want to my callings, ABANDONING MY HUSBAND. The nursing program is broken up into 4 blocks, 1 block per semester. I met the hubby one day after starting block 1 and so during our entire relationship I have been in nursing school. Its been really hard, planning a wedding, being a newlywed, moving an hour away from everything I know, figuring out how to be a wife, working full time and working as a full time nursing student. Now the time has come and I'm done with school, well atleast I'll be a nurse all the rest will be extra experiences, education, and opportunities. Thank goodness. My graduation is set for December 14. Al I have to do is get through the next 8 preceptorship shifts and pass the NCLEX and it Sarah, R.N.

Sitting at Work

So I'm here at work with nothing to do for the next half our or so. Today is a 16hr day for me, after working 12hrs yesterday I decided to stay over and get some extra hours in before school starts in a few weeks. I don't think I've ever explained what I actually want to do with my schooling. So I graduate with my Associate's in Nursing in december, then around next april or so I am going to start working on my Bachelor's of Nursing. Eventually all of this school will bring me to my Master's which I want to get in Nurse-Midwifery. Yes, I want to be a midwife. I've decided (and it could change later) to go for the Nurse Midwife so that I can have Hospital privileges in case of an emergency or for more observation in a hospital. It's alot of school to do home births but I don't like the idea of handing off my client in their scariest moment to a total stranger when we have had 8-9 months to build a relationship. I don't know when I'll be able to complete my education because I don't know when we're going to have kids and they are my highest priority.
Midwifery has been something I've wanted to do since I was a teenager and I found out you can have a baby in water. Over the years I've learned the benefits of natural childbirth and it has become my passion. I want to spend my time in the service of others in the most sacred of times in their lives and be able to support and educate them. I've never had a child but I have been told that it is the most amazing experience ever and I want to be apart of that. Natural childbirth is necessary for the world to go back to. I'm not against modern medicine and Doctors. Without it, many amazing people would've been lost to us without having the time to share their talents. However there are many things that have been lost in the effort to "make things easier and more efficient" such as childbirth and the right to make your own choices. The birth plan has been lost, it's now a "choose what you want but in the end the Doctor is going to make the decision for you for the safety of the baby but really it's for the convenience of the Doctor plan"
For instance you go into the hospital having contractions but your water hasn't broken yet, they let you labor for an hour or so then so the labor isn't progressing fast enough so they make it go faster by putting you on Pitocin. Pitocin induced labor contractions are 40 times more painful than normal contractions so they suggest an epidural to help, you accept because you are in so much pain. The epidural is given which slows down labor so they pump you full of more Pitocin which make labor even more painful so you get more pain meds. Eventually with this yo-yo between the pitocin and the epidural your labor isn't progressing as fast as the doctor would like so they recommend a c-section because all the medication isn't good for the baby, you accept because you would never do anything to hurt your baby. In the end your plan for natural childbirth is out the door and never even considered really and dealing with the consequences of the c-section with the pain and the risk of infection and future risk of problems with future pregnancies.
I that all made sense and it's was probably longer than what was needed to explain but I just get on my tirades because I just believe so much in the power of women and the fact that even a new mom on her first baby knows what to do because we as women are instinctly aware of whats going on with our bodies.

New Stuff

So I really don't have anything wonderful or fascinating to say but I wanted to write so here I am. So Josh and I have been changing the way we eat and look at life. We're trying to have a healtier lifestyle in all aspects and so far I have to say that......it's really hard. Firstly we are trying to lose weight and eat healthier, things I've learned: 1: in the morning I need to eat most of my calories because I am not a morning person at all and I need all the help I can get to wake up in the morning. 2: When at work I cannot step foot in the cafeteria (especially in the morning for a breakfast burrito) at all because even buying a bottle of water makes it hard to say no to other things. 3: Since going to the gym on my days off this summer I can now run up 3 flights of stairs to my floor and not be tired or have my legs on fire!!!!!! New discovery as of yesterday!!!!! 4: Non-fat Thick and Creamy Blueberry Pie is the best yogurt out there and I could eat it everyday if I had the money.!!! It's amazing.... thats all I can say about it! Well with all of that and much more I have lost a total of 18 lbs and hope to make it 30lbs by the time I start school in august. Hopefully I can do it.

Another thing we have been doing is having Family home evening. We've been married for a year and haven't done one until last month when we started. We decided that we must have it the same day every week so we don't forget about it and with us both in school and me working, Sunday was the only day that neither of us have anything that would conflict. It's been fun but kind of weird. Like I didn't grow up in the church so I have no clue what I'm doing and Josh hasn't done it since he was a child so usually our lessons are something like reading the Family Proclamation and talking about it or watching the Church videos on you tube, but you know I can already notice a difference in our home. The spirit is here, and thats awesome!!!

hhhhmmmm

the past couple of days I've been feeling so blah. I don't know what it is, I'm depressed, little things make me angry and other little things are making me cry. I feel out of control. It's like PMS on steroids and I can't do anything to stop it. I can't sleep, think or really get hte motivation to do anything. I don't know what to do. I feel so bad for my husband because he has to deal with me and my acute bi-polarness.

So close!!!

Well my finals for block 3 are next week and I can't wait. I feel good coming into these finals (which was my goal this semester)and I'm not stressing too much. We've been spring cleaning the house and today I need to get my mother's day gift sent off to my mother-in-law also I'm thinking on sending a card to Josh's grandmother. Yeah I think that will be nice!!! I've only seen her twice but I miss her, she's such a nice lady and funny!! And I miss my mother-in-law. I hope my in-laws can come down this summer it would be nice to visit with them more.