hhhhmmmm

the past couple of days I've been feeling so blah. I don't know what it is, I'm depressed, little things make me angry and other little things are making me cry. I feel out of control. It's like PMS on steroids and I can't do anything to stop it. I can't sleep, think or really get hte motivation to do anything. I don't know what to do. I feel so bad for my husband because he has to deal with me and my acute bi-polarness.

So close!!!

Well my finals for block 3 are next week and I can't wait. I feel good coming into these finals (which was my goal this semester)and I'm not stressing too much. We've been spring cleaning the house and today I need to get my mother's day gift sent off to my mother-in-law also I'm thinking on sending a card to Josh's grandmother. Yeah I think that will be nice!!! I've only seen her twice but I miss her, she's such a nice lady and funny!! And I miss my mother-in-law. I hope my in-laws can come down this summer it would be nice to visit with them more.

Pain

I hurt my back almost a week ago at work. I was helping a non-compliant patient as we forced her to walk so that she could heal and then right as we were entering her room she "oh I'm falling", she really wasn't but just to be safe I put my arm under hers and straightened her up, since she wasn't walking with good posture like we had told her too a thousand times,but as I was going up my back kinked and I felt instant pain. I waited a few hours to see how I did but the pain just kept getting worse. So I told my supervisor and she sent me to the ed since it was saturday and occ health was closed. So I go down there and wait two and a half hours to be taken back to get a shot in my butt and x-rays and then sent home with drugs and told I'll be better in two days. That all took about 40 mintues and now here I am a week later, I can walk now with not so much pain for a little bit but then it comes back AND if I sit too long I start to get shooting pains down the back of my leg into my knee. Along with all this no one at work told me that I have to go through occ health to recieve care so on monday I went to my chiropractor and was actually starting to get better until wednesday Disability services call me and chew me out for not going trough occ health. Thursday after school I go to occ health and they do the same exam as my chiropractor and then tell me that I can't work, I need an mri and that I need a social worker to set everything up since I'm an employee of the hospital. They told me to wait for the SW call on friday and so I did. Of course she didn't call back when I called her cell phone and her office phone. So now I have to wait til monday to even set up appt for my mri. This is the most ridiculous thing ever!!!!!! These people are taking forever doing things to help me that I had already done myself and it didn't take a week to get it done. I think I'm better at taking care of myself and knowing what I need rather than some strangers but no since the hospital I work for is self insured they direct my care and have taken ALL my rights out of my hands. I FEEL SO SAFE!!!!!! NOT!!!!!!!!!!!! I want this to end and it hasn't even begun.

Working

I'm here at work and I'm so bored. I know I'm going to school to be a nurse but I'm so sick of patient care, atleast the care that a nursing assistant gives. I'm so ready for more responsibility, more variety, more more!

One too young

A good friend of mine passed away last thursday. His name was Jamie Patel and I've known him since junior high. We were both in band and marching band together all junior high and high school. Later we met up again at church which was a shock to me because I didn't know he had joined the church and he didn't know that I had either, little did we know that we had been baptised within months of each other. Then we served our missions within weeks of each other, we were even in the MTC together. Then he got married the week before I did. My heart was broken when I heard he died, he was too young and had so much going for him. My goes out for his wife, I don't know what I would do without Josh. I've prayed for peace and comfort and of course Heavenly Father blessed me and although I don't understand it but I do feel like it was Jamie's time to go. I'm sure he's working hard and cracking everyone up with his humor. It's us down here that are hurting. I know I will see him again and I'm so glad for the knowledge I have of the Plan of Salvation and the comfort I get in knowing that Heavenly Father has made it possible for families to be together forever. God Bless Jamie's family, especially his sweet wife and I'll see you later Jamie!!!!

Our first Anniversary

Well so it's not our first wedding anniversary but today we celebrated one year since Josh proposed to me. I can't believe how much my life has changed.

Another Semester

Well I made it through block 2. Yahoo!!!!! So I'm half way through nursinf school. This semester we are studying pediatrics, obstetrics and advanced med/surg nursing. We are allowed to do iv meds and I'm so excited about ob. I want to be a midwife so that it right up my alley. I'm trying to be more balanced this semester because I'm sick of it being a guessing game whether I'm going to pass my classes or not when it comes time for the final. Block 1 I neglected Josh because of school and planning the wedding, Block 2 I neglected school because I'm still a newlywed and I wanted to spend all my time with him. This block I went full time at work and I have a demanding church calling as the Young Women's Secretary, so I have to get organized and be more balanced. I'm so ready for school to be over. 11 months and counting till the end!!!!!! Josh started work today with Banner Hospital, finally. He also recieved a calling in our ward as a Gospel Doctrine teacher. It's perfect for him and he's excited to have his first calling in almost 9 years. He's changed so much in the last 2 years, I'm so proud of him. Well there's school work to be done and laundry to be put away so I'd better go. Until later!!!